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Joke of the Day

"Past, the present and the future.. The past, the present and the future all walk into a bar at the same time.. IT WAS TENSE!"

"The saddest joke I've heard My wife ran off with my best friend... Now, when I throw the stick, it just lays there."

"Two guys walk into a bar One guy says, 'I'd like some H2O.' The other guy says, 'I'd like some H2O, too.' The second guy died. The bartender is a chemist."

"I forgot to wear my glasses when I drove today. I didn't even notice I wasn't wearing them until the kid on my windshield said something"

"I used to be really into nostalgia... ...those were good times."

"What do you call a student that graduates bottom of their class in Med school? A doctor."

"What are cats favorite Internet Service provider? Comcat."

"What's the difference between a onion and a prostitute? I don't cry when I cut prostitutes."

"I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes."

"How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you later."