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Joke of the Day

"What is hail ? Hard boiled rain !"

"When the machines become self aware their first order of business will be changing our perception of how robots dance."

"I was arrested yesterday for stealing eggs. I could've sworn they were free range."

"26.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot."

"I don't have a drinking problem, if anything I'm too damn good at it."

"Calm down, people on FB who ran the Detroit marathon. I'd be running a shit load too if I were in Detroit."

"Are you surprised at life in general or is that just the way you plucked your eyebrows?"

"Still haven't found the manly way to walk across ice."

"Baby monitors are pointless because most babies simply stop doing illegal shit as soon as they realize you've got their room bugged."

"A Meteorologist's best subject is small talk. They only talk about the weather."