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Joke of the Day

"Hey girl, did you get your tickets *lips slowly part to reveal a mouthful of tiny little teeth with massive gums* to the GUM show?"

"|T|h|i|n|k| |I| |f|o|u|n|d| |s|o|m|e|t|h|i|n|g| |m|o|r|e| |a|n|n|o|y|i|n|g| |t|h|a|n| |h|a|s|h|t|a|g|s|"

"Why don't blind people bungee jump? It scares the shit out of the dogs"

"How is credit like cocaine? Everyone just needs 1 more line."

"Me: Sometimes I wish I wasn't shy and introverted Alcohol: I'VE GOT GREAT NEWS!"

"whats the difference between Michael Phelps and adolf hitler Michael Phelps can finish a race"

"You know, I heard a rumor that Stevie Wonder is pansexual. He just doesn't see gender."

"I shaved my legs and now my socks keep falling down. Life is hard."

"What is the blackest of magics? Negromancy."

"Dad, can I have another cup of water? Dad: But its your 12th cup tonight! Son: I know, the baby's room is still on fire."