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Joke of the Day
"Do you know how a suicide wank works? You just shoot yourself in the face!"
Next Joke
"Saw two jeeps crash into each other today. There were Dave Matthews Band CD's everywhere."
"What is Hillary Clintons least favourite instrumeny? The trump-et."
"It's time for dirty limericks! There once was a lady from Decatur Who got laid by a large alligator. But nobody knew The result of that screw Because after he laid her, he ate her."
"Step 1: Stay up late Step 2: Get up early Step 3: Hate the Earth"
"I'm not positive, but I think when you say you're ""over"" something, YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT."
"What is dementia? I forget"
"Wyoming? Why won't you kiss me? Because I'm Cheyenne."
"Why should you never watch a movie with a generous Nascar driver? He might give away spoilers!"
"me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friends"