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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a black man and a pile of dog shit? The shit will eventually turn white and go away"

"What did the detective particle say to the suspect particle? I got my ion you."

"A redneck walks in to a restaurant with his wife, sister and cousin He walks up to the host and says table for two please"

"""Hi I can't remember the name of this actress.You know her, she's in that movie you saw. She's got that hair."" -actual message from my mom"

"Why did the incarcerated 12 year old furiously jerk off in jail? He was hoping for an early release"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?....To get to the idiots house. Knock knock....Who's there.....The Chicken"

"Math jokes never work on me I have trouble differentiating them. They aren't an integral part of my life and most of the time they just don't add up."

"A Russian bomber was intercepted 20 miles from Los Angeles at 5:17am this morning, but no one wants to talk about it 'cause I made it up."

"If I had a dollar every time trump said something stupid, I'd have a small loan of a million dollars"

"The doctor who performed my lobotomy operation did a lousy job. I have half a mind to tell him so."