222034

Joke of the Day

"What does Johnny Depp say when cutting down trees? TIMBUUUUUUUURTON"

"Why did Hitler kill himself? . . . . He saw his gas bill."

"pleas tune into my next podcast where i ask what the FUCK angry birds is and viciously mock the first piece of shit caller to answer me"

"9yr old poured milk on the cat. When I asked why he said ""He's thirsty and likes to lick himself."" I couldn't argue with that."

"So PornHub recently revealed what people all over the world were searching most frequently; finally answering a question I've always asked... What is this world coming to!?"

"""You want to see a pig with three eyes?"" A piiig"

"What's the roughest part about being a 7-year-old in Liberia? The mid-life crisis."

"Fucking terrorists. I guess I can't google ""nice truck"" anymore to find out about the latest pickups on the market...."

"What do you call a brother and sister rack of ribs?? Riblings"

"Jay-Z should open a pizza place. But all good pizza places need a nice Italian name, he could name it.. Lou Menotti's."