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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to see how fast I could drive my new car down Main Street. I managed to hit 60 before getting pulled over. Most of them survived with only minor injuries."

"What do you call a Mexican Super Saiyan Fajita"

"Caught my ping smoking weed while playing online Now it became high"

"Hip,hop da hippie, hip hip ya hop don't stop the drop da bang bang boogie.... I'm Drunk"

"What do mathematicians get if they stare at the roots of negative numbers for too long? Square eyes"

"What do you call a circle of $100 bills? Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)"

"A conversation with my 7 year old brother. ""Look at all of these beautiful horse"" ""Horses"" ""Horse is already plural, isn't it?"" ""You're thinking of elk"" ""Holy mooses, you're right"""

"The Sad Life A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn't I?"

"Man goes to the doctor ""Doctor I think my wife is dead."" ""What do you mean think! Either she's dead or she isn't Well replies the man ""The sex is the same but the washing is piling up in the sink"""