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Joke of the Day

"A feminist once asked me: ""What's your view on lesbians?"" I responded: ""1080p."""

"If people had to spell something correctly before being allowed to criticize it, the internet would be a far more peaceful place."

"If 'womb' is pronounced as 'woom' and 'tomb, as' 'toom' Shouldn't 'bomb' be pronounced 'boom'?"

"From my 7yo: ""Why did the moon marry the sun?"" Because the sun is hott."

"Why are there a lot of problem gamblers in the Harry Potter universe? Because they have a quidditch."

"You know what sucks? Babies"

"There are two cavemen sitting by a fire... [OC] One is eating some bugs he found, and he says to the other, ""You like beetles?"" and his friend says, ""No, *CRUNCH CRUNCH*, me more of a stones guy."""

"I got a tattoo in the bald spot on top of my head that reads ""let go of my ears lady, I know what I'm doing"""

"Stephen Hawking can actually be pretty funny sometimes... But I don't think he's got what it takes to do stand-up."

"Best pick up line? Lets go eat. I'm paying!"