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Joke of the Day
"Men's briefs that are two sizes too big are just ""whities"" I suppose."
Next Joke
"I've recently taken up a class in French Self Defense... It's exhausting, I've never ran so far!"
"ME: My husband says you use special traps that put the mice outside to play with their friends EXTERMINATOR [LOOKS AT HUSBAND]: umm, yeaahh"
"Is it just me, or are fewer and fewer mustachioed cads tying women to the train tracks these days?"
"This is how I tell if someone is paying attention. You were not :D"
"It is WAY TOO EARLY for Christmas music. -people in the year 75 BC"
"How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One hooker at a minimum. However the light bulb must be big enough for two people to fit inside"
"If you want to hide something from me, put it on my voicemail."
"What are the first 3 words in every authentic Mexican recipe? Steal a chicken"
"I'm learning about imaginary numbers... I can finally plot my sex life."