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Joke of the Day

"Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints."

"Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage."

"I had a Muslim co-worker named ... Christian"

"Probably the hardest part of being an adult is trying to come up with excuses to tell your friends about why you go to bed so early."

"Speed 3: Waitress has to keep talking about the day's specials or the entire restaurant explodes."

"This is gonna be a really long one. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeee"

"I wonder what TSA would do if I brought a block of ice through airport security. My physics teacher said it's not a liquid."

"What does the sign at a nudist Buddhist beach say? No [Bhikkhunis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhikkhuni) allowed."

"A wannabee client asked me to find her a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan for $900/month. ...then she added ""Oh, I have a 60 pound dog, too."" I politely replied: ""I don't have a time machine."""

"Where does sans live? Sans francisco"