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Joke of the Day

"I don't get why SRS is so loud. I'm pretty sure I turned off the ""Surround"" setting."

"I invented a new word: *Zygorepostalgia* It's the feeling you get when you see the same joke reposted more than once in the same day and realize it wasn't funny the first time either."

"What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard? Figuring out what to tell you about first."

"I've started a glass coffin manufacturing business. My friend asked me if I thought it would be successful. I replied ""remains to be seen""."

"A man lost his arms, legs and torso gambling. Fortunately he quit while he was a head."

"A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200."

"Witness protection, but for men who have accidentally told a woman she looks tired"

"A guy walks into a bar... and his alcoholism tears his family apart."

"I'm too calm to be a Dermatologist. I refuse to make rash decisions."

"What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee? A sheep."