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Joke of the Day

"What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee? A sheep."

"Just honked at a red light. That doesn't work."

"I'm sorry did you say your name is ned or bread"

"Me: I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. Him: Ma'am, for the last time, we don't have a limit on how much liquor you can buy."

"What do you call a deer without an eye? No idear."

"How did the butcher introduce his wife? Meat Patty"

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory... All I did was take a day off."

"Things will never get better until you make the conscious decision to lower your standards."

"Solving constipation How do you solve constipation? Rape."

"The average person has sex 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!"