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Joke of the Day

"I've just opened a casino for dogs where they can play roulette, poker blackjack etc... They'll have to go outside for craps though."

"Nosy Peppers Nosy peppers are jalapeno business."

"College guy: [massaging head] Oh man I got so trashed last night. Raccoon: [massaging stomach with his little raccoon paws] Me too man."

"We could probably stabilize the economy if everyone stopped stealing grapes."

"Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5? Because it was pi-rated."

"These twins I knew in high school both got mono... They got stereo"

"*phone rings* Yoda: Yoda Luke: WTF VADER'S MY DAD? Y: Uh L: And you knew & told me to kill him? Y: L: Y: Going thru a tunnel I am *hangs up*"

"A man gets his drill and drills a hole in a wall... ..its a bit boring."

"So it's been a few days since Phil and Ken got married under Irish law... And already Phil wants to Kilkenny"

"In an alternate universe, the President... is given an attache and told not to press the button inside beyond the most dire circumstances. Instructions nuclear."