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Joke of the Day

"Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5? Because it was pi-rated."

"Can't believe my neighbors don't have any rum. How am I supposed to enjoy their hot tub while they're on vacation?"

"I think my wife has a habit of walking in her sleep Every morning I find her sleeping in someone else's bed."

"Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought."

"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! The only down side is we still have to pay his tuition."

"MAXIM MAGAZINE: BECAUSE YOU'RE TERRIFIED OF NIPPLES"

"Hangovers: because you had so much fun, you deserve to think about it all day"

"If I Cuold Time Travel I would fix the title."

"Making a business call while sexting is surprisingly difficult. Mmm yes, baby, suck my purchase order."

"Why does ISIS call camels ""Ships of the Desert""? Because they are full of ISIS seamen."