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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lawyer and God? God doesn't think he's a lawyer."

"When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture."

"So, my feminist cousin is diabetic and recently, her legs were amputated... ...safe to say, she won't be jumping to conclusions anytime soon."

"Two guys were watching a marathon on tv. One says to the other, ""why are they running?"" ""to win the prize."" ""who will win the prize?"" ""the one who finishes first."" ""then why are the others running?"""

"Why are hemorrhoid and diarrhea so hard to spell? Like if you're talking about them, you aren't having a rough enough time already."

"HOROSCOPE: You'll read a horoscope today. ME: Whoa, it's like they know me."

"People tell me my humour is offbeat but they get weirded out if you walk around with a metronome."

"A priest and a rabbi are standing on a corner when a 5 year old boy walks by. The priest says, ""Hey. Let's fuck that boy"". Replied the rabbi, ""out of what?""."

"How does every black joke start? *Looks over shoulder *"

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY, THAT'S SICK! A clown and a little boy are walking through the woods. The boy says ""it sure is dark and scary here"". The clown says ""how do you think I feel? I'm coming back alone""."