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Joke of the Day

"DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A COP Ok, now that there are definitely no cops reading this...I'm trying to find some cocaine for this weekend guys"

"Why did the elephant paint its nails red? So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!"

"Where do weeaboos holiday? Kawaii"

"What do you call a Spanish woman with a loose vagina? Consuelo!"

"I was talking to the anorexic cannibal.. I told him self-indulgence isn't the answer and he needs to face his problems. He threw up his arms and walked away."

"As a man, it's impossible to walk passed a punching bag and not hit it twice before walking away."

"Neil deGrasse Tyson walks into a bar. Everyone leaves. ""EVERYONE?"" he chuckles to himself. ""7.4 billion humans couldn't fit in this space."""

"A young boy speeding way above speed limit. He got pulled over by a cop. Cop:""I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you."" Boy:""I know sir, I got here as fast as I could."""

"Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea."

"What happened to Voldemort's face? Nobody nose."