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Joke of the Day

"Why does Voldemort always sit in the nosebleed section at events? So he'll finally have the chance to get a bloody nose."

"What happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your girl back, you get your truck back, you may even get your dog back."

"What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison? One can't see to go the other can't go to sea."

"No one has done the dishes for like a week so I finally did the responsible thing and bought some paper plates."

"I used to be a banker but I lost interest"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Body-Piercing Barbie ...comes with mini-piercing gun and mini-body ornaments"

"I want to go see the new Purge movie... But I have to binge on the first two..."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentickles"

"A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash. Bartender says, ""Hey, we don't serve robots."" And the robot says, ""Oh, but someday you will."""

"My mom always said to wash the food before eating it She was a great woman. Not so her sandwiches."