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Joke of the Day

"My tall sister took the vodka out of the cupboards above the fridge. I always thought those doors were just there for decoration."

"My neighbor just gave us a brand new dining set! I guess he was feeling particularly chairitable today."

"My favourite kind of pain; is in my stomach when people make me laugh too hard."

"Wait come back, I didn't mean it when I was just being myself"

"What's the most racist fraction? 3/5"

"I breathed a sigh of relief when I typed the letter ""y""... ...when I had to type ""analytics"" into the search bar during a presentation at work."

"Gay Mafia Did you hear about those two gay guys in the mafia? One whacked the other one. http://earlmcgerd.tumblr.com/"

"I never knew so many 14 year old rednecks used reddit... Then I found r/The_Donald"

"How do you know your sister has started her period? Your Dad's dick tastes like blood"

"If you draw a picture of a butthole on the questionnaire, there's a 95% chance you'll get out of jury duty. Would be 100%. But, Texas."