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Joke of the Day
"Accidentaly switching two letters... ...can completely urin a sentence."
Next Joke
"Forgot to pack tights so I'm wearing yoga pants with my dress and a long sweater. I look like a crazy cat lady."
"The toy inside my McDonald's Apathy Meal is just a lump of gray plastic and an instruction sheet that says ""Whatever. This job sucks."""
"NutFlick and Chill"
"Whenever my car won't start I open the hood so I can have a good look at all the things I don't understand."
"Tomatoes are a rich source of lycopene (werewolf dick)."
"The word resume has fireworks coming out of it to help with the pronunciation yet we're left to fend for ourselves with colonel?"
"There are only two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."
"I was in bed with a blind girl last night... and she says ""wow your really well hung"" to which I respond ""you're pulling my leg"""
"Saw a sticker that said ""my son was an honor student"". I almost got sad, but then I thought maybe he's not dead, maybe he's just stupid now"