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Joke of the Day

"Two snowmen are standing in a field... One snowman turns to the other and says, ""yeah, I smell carrots too."""

"The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself ""This changes everything."""

"I got the most classic, timeless Christmas present this year A broken watch"

"What kind of bears don't have teeth? Gummi bears. ;)"

"If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit..... .....join the Euphemism Society."

"All my tweets are based on true events that happened in my head."

"what't the difference between a US election and a bunch of sly midgets? [NSFW] one is a bunch of cunning runts and the other is a bunch of running cunts."

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines"

"What did the bread do after it had been oppressed for many years? Rye-ot"

"Do you like long lines, mass transit and sweaty white people? Ask your doctor if a Disney trip is right for you."