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Joke of the Day
"""Does your dad play any sports?"" ""No, my dad hates sports"" *dad walks in* ""Hey there, Sport"""
Next Joke
"A person who knows two languages is called bilingual. Three or more languages; multilingual. What do you call someone who knows one? American."
"I once went out with a girl that said she was flexible like a Slinky. Two flights of stairs later, I decided she wasn't."
"TIL it is impossible to look at your nose while sticking out your tongue without looking ridiculous."
"What idiot called it ""insomnia"" and not ""resisting a rest""?"
"Michelle Obama puts her secret lovers number in her phone under Ben Ghazi knowing that by doing so Barack will never search for the truth"
"When your girlfriend says ""I love you"" reply with ""I love you more!"" Because relationships are competitions that must be won."
"It just occurred to me that we have to make all the jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker while she's still alive.. Because after she dies it'll be like beating a dead horse..."
"Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is ""good"" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!"
"What did the Indian woman say during sex? Please cum again!"