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Joke of the Day
"What idiot called it ""insomnia"" and not ""resisting a rest""?"
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"What do you call five tomatoes? A tom-a-FOOT! In Europe, they call it a tom-a-METER."
"A committee is twelve men doing the work of one."
"My friend is so silly that he spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the doorknob!"
"Women like silent men... they think they're listening!"
"Me: ""people always think I'm gay! Do I put off a gay vibe?"" Guy whose back I'm massaging in a bubble bath: ""maybe a little"""
"The name is Bond. James Bond. James Melvin ""Crazy Legs"" Bond."
"I've got the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo."
"Your Google search history is the real you."
"I found the quickest way for a woman to make you a millionaire. See, first you need to be a billionaire..."