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Joke of the Day

"A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind in here!"" Mushroom says, ""Come on, I'm a fungi!"""

"Did you get a haircut? No. I got all of them cut."

"I made a joke for my dog tonight... Why did the cat cross the road? Splat *clap my hands*. It didn't!! (My dog loved it.)"

"Confucius say... Man who walks everyday barefoot will have a tough sole"

"My gran fell asleep last night while she was eating piri piri chicken She had a cheeky nan dose"

"Why does the doctor spank the baby after birth? To knock the dicks off the dumb ones."

"So carrying a ""wet floor"" sign and putting it down immediately after using your best pickup line on a woman is frowned upon Dating is hard."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. On my penis."

"Why did the bean sell his car? The back seat didn't have enough legume."

"judge: I hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison my lawyer: your honor my client respectfully requests a year be added to his sentence"