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Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones? A: ""I didn't wake up this morning..."""

"What's the simplest way to prevent rape? Consent."

"Is it alright to kiss a nun? Yeah. As long as you don't get in the habit."

"I lost my virginity last week But it's fine. Turns out it was just between the couch cushions."

"My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65.... Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is"

"Why was Germany in debt after WWII? The gas bill was too high."

"No thanks, newborn babies of literally any species on planet Earth. Come back when you're less pink & rubbery & can loan me thirty dollars."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"Winnie the Pooh band-aids may look cute but are useless on stab wounds."

"Q. What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A. Donut seeds."