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Joke of the Day

"I like my women how I like my coffee. Without a penis"

"[annoyed burglar waking me] you still have a VCR?"

"I want to be in a heavy metal band just so I can scream terrible things at crowds of people and not be accused of having PMS."

"What do you call an Australian who's prejudiced against grains? A riceist. (It sounds better when you say it aloud)"

"Need help with kids I am at dinner for mothers day and striking out with the jokes. Reddit brothers and sisters I need your kid appropriate jokes. HELP!"

"So I got a vasectomy today... Doctor walks in and says: ""you're in good hands, I've altered more balls than Tom Brady"""

"Why didn't Hitler talk to Jews? He had Auschwitzim"

"Me: Gouda would pair nicely with this merlot! Priest: This is communion... M: Oh. Gouda would taste well with the blood of Chr- P: Leave."

"What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force."

"HWhy did the monster lie on his back? To trip up low-flying aircraft."