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Joke of the Day

"The more I think about it the more I fucking HATE Rutherford B. Hayes!"

"What do you call the space in between Pamela Anderson's breasts? Silicon Valley"

"The United Kingdom. A country whose name is now ironic."

"There should be a warning label on those straw cowgirl hats middle-aged women wear on vacation that reads: ""Will cause freckled cleavage."""

"I listen to trump rallies before I go to bed They're all white noise."

"The only thing worse than sitting down on a cold toilet seat is sitting down on a warm toilet seat."

"Why is Santa's sack so large? Because he only comes once a year."

"I don't see how someone could mourn the loss of a Chinese dictator. It just seems unbereaveable to me."

"Job interview tip: Bring a box to the interview, point at it and say ""I do all my thinking outside of that."" Then open some champagne."

"Gabe Newell should be the World President He will prevent World War 3."