178867
Joke of the Day
"The United Kingdom. A country whose name is now ironic."
Next Joke
"Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East? Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East."
"Why are hippies against capitalism? Because money doesn't grow on trees."
"[Supermarket] Me: QUICK, WHERE IS YOUR FROZEN SECTION Assistant: Aisle 7 Me: GREAT [opens trench coat and 6 penguins fall out] let's go guys"
"What's a good treatment for insomnia? Bill Cosby"
"Who hasn't had Somalian food? Somalian children"
"My DNA results came back and apparently I'm .0002% aardvark. Which pretty much answers all the questions I've ever had. About anything."
"Doctor & Patient F Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""
"A doctor, a lawyer, a priest, a rabbi, and a nun all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says ""What is this? A Joke?"""
"I can tell these $80 Nikes are going to help me get from the couch to the bathroom six times a day a lot faster."