221032

Joke of the Day

"My 12yo son's protip: Buy larger sized clothes and you'll look like you lost weight. You're welcome."

"This morning someone phoned me and told me that I need to sort my fucking life out. It was quite a wake up call."

"Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed? He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep."

"Mary had a little lamb. The event made medical history."

"*Godzilla smashing Tokyo & eating people. After destroying an asylum he suddenly dies* 60s cop1: what happened 60s cop2: haha nut allergy"

"Wanna hear a joke? Feminism (I'm going to hell anyway, the least i can do is have fun on the way)"

"Yo mama is so fat that if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill."

"Real geniuses never talk about that they are a genius. I know from myself."

"They called it Twitter because Everybody Poops was taken."

"I just saw three dudes wearing denim shirts with denim jeans. Who's responsible for this shit? Canada? Was it you, Canada?"