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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza in the oven doesn't scream."
Next Joke
"While Twitter is the slutty wife we all share, Facebook has become the humorless mother-in-law we all endure."
"What has two legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat"
"I woke up to find that someone pooped in my slow cooker. What a crock of shit!"
"I'm THIS MANY drunk!! *holds up waffle*"
"What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog ? Father Christmas wears a whole suit a dog just pants!"
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. But, I still can't figure out how they got in there."
"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? Nobody's ever paid money to have a lentil on their face."
"If you die whilst urinating Then you literally piss your life away"
"Judge: and how does the defendant plead Lawyer: like this your honor *makes whiny voice *nooo I didn't do any crimes* Judge: HAH do it again"