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Joke of the Day
"I get high before I get my Drivers License pic taken. That way I look normal if I'm pulled over."
Next Joke
"What did the dwarf pimp say to the two prostitutes at the beginning of the night? Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go"
"What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an arsehole? Barack Obama's Tie"
"A lot of people end a question with a period. Usually that question is ""Am I pregnant?"""
"A man told me there was a Pikachu in the back of his white van. When I jumped in, it appeared that he was mistaken."
"Barista: name? Benedict Cumberbatch: Benedict Cumberbatch Barista [writes ""Benedict Cumberbatch""] Benedict Cumberbatch: holy shit"
"""We don't have iced coffee"" Me: ""You have coffee?"" ""Yes"" Me: ""You have ice?"" ""Yes"" Me: ""Were you raised in a barn?"""
"told my Subway sandwich artist the toppings I wanted but then I whispered ""love"" so now I can't go to that Subway anymore"
"Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall"
"Besides those glaring flaws that I choose to ignore, I don't know what's wrong with me."