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Joke of the Day

"I'm so broke that I posed nude for a magazine last week. That's the last time I go to that newsagents!"

"Pi compliment Wow, you look radian today."

"Makes eye contact with female. Medusa."

"When would a discount be a bad thing? Have 3 abortions and get the fourth free."

"What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks? DINO-MITE!"

"There was once a doctor who tried to prove that mainly blood was kept in bones, But alas it twas in vein."

"[OC] My best friend recently lost the front of his foot in a boating accident and now I hate him. I'm surprised by how lactose intolerant I am."

"[talks about how badass wolves are for 20 mins] date: can we talk about something else? [pulls out powerpoint on why wolves are badass] No"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's **not** funny!"

"How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Give her a basketball, and tell her to read it."