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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Buddhism and porn? Buddha teaches not to fill a hole in yourself with material possesions."

"""Oh my god! That guy's dead! Oh wait, he's totally fine."" (someone watching soccer for the first time)"

"Why aren't there any ""old husband tales""? There are. They just get re-branded as ""logic"" and ""the truth""."

"Why is religion like mobile gaming? Free-to-pray, pray-to-win."

"Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked."

"Whenever I confront the messy baker I'm always walking on eggshells."

"This is how clickbait works."

"An egg and a chicken just finished having sex... The egg rolls over, lights a cigarette, and says ""well, I guess that settles that."""

"I got a gun for my wife today. It was the best trade I ever made."

"Put me in your bio so I know it's real... Just kidding, I'd rather be in your will."