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Joke of the Day

"Friend: It looks like you're packing to go on an extended vacation. Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii? Me: No, this is just my lunch."

"I thought vasectomies were supposed to keep me from getting my wife pregnant?? Apparently, it just changes the color of the baby. Go figure."

"My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body 207, 206, 207, 206, 207......"

"Did you hear the one about Laurence the Roman Pot Smoker? It was High Larrius"

"Pull the pin out of a grenade... and you can keep it for the rest of your life."

"Knock Knock, ""Who's there?"" ""Gladiator"" ""Gladiator who?"" ""Gladiator, before going to the gang bang"""

"How do you drown a hipster? Drag him into the mainstream."

"Subway is like prostitution... You pay someone else to do your wife's job!"

"What did the colon tell the large intestine after several hours' worth of diarrhoea? ""Get your shit together"""

"How did Mark Zuckerberg meet Miley Cyrus? Social net twerking"