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Joke of the Day

"Being Irish means getting rip-roaring drunk on special occasions. For example, when you celebrate dinner."

"I'm in that fun part of a relationship where everything is new and exciting and we are learning things about each other and I don't poop."

"LPT: Don't trust everything you read on Facebook Unless it's the pope endorsing Trump. That definitely happened."

"This Summer, I've been grilling on the roof of my apartment. The steaks have never been higher."

"What do you call a crazy bug on the moon? A lunar tick."

"Who abhors a vacuum more than nature? A cat."

"What do you call a rape in the military? A flashbang."

"My friends say I'm condescending... That means I talk down to people."

"A scotsman walks out of a bar It could happen."

"What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader? I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes? ... A FSHHH"