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Joke of the Day

"Osama=Crabs What do Osama Bin Laden and crabs have in common? They both irritate Bush."

"I tried to catch the essence of American football It's like you got a pretty big can of cold beer and on the other side of field your best buddy dying from hangover"

"A cleaning service of men who think a hot girl is coming over in 20 minutes."

"Whole Foods on Sunday is just a refugee camp for people with too much money."

"Holiday Tip: if you boil a turd on low heat the whole house smells like farts."

"I hate Sharknado, it is SO unrealistic. Rain? In California? Did they even pretend to research for this movie?"

"Text your friends but leave voicemails for your enemies."

"What do feminist hate more than men? Sex Offenders"

"Girl, are you a useless, obscure and unimportant punctuation mark? Because I want to interro-bang you"

"I bought a fleshlight Because fuck it."