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Joke of the Day

"I heard there is a new dating app for paedophiles Kinder is due to be released shortly!"

"I just saw a group of pandas pooping on the ground together What an embarrassment"

"Gosh, hell must be really awkward. I mean there's Hitler, and all the Jews."

"GF: You cant keep it. ME: But- G: Its a BEE. M: HES my FRIEND! G: Hand him over. M: No! [tearing up] I wont let you hurt Albuzz Bumbledore!"

"[lying with girlfriend & looking up at the stars] ""Hey--"" *points to shooting star* ""You've put on a lot of weight."""

"I touch myself when I think of you. It's a facepalm, but I am thinking of you."

"I asked my friend who the antagonist of Borderlands is. Me: ""If you tell me, i'll give you some alcohol for free"" Friend: ""Alright then, hand some jack"""

"Whenever I walk into a crowded men's room, I shout So this is where all the dicks hang out!"

"lately my house has been a bit drafty... not because its' poorly insulated, but because my wife keeps bringing home marines..."

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods knows how to pick a good driver."