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Joke of the Day

"Today at school, my teacher said I needed to stop doing my impression of a Flamingo That's when I had to put my foot down. EDIT: some shit"

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"Who do you sell second hand bikes to? A re-cyclist."
"Knock-Knock... -Who's there? -Doctor. -Doctor Who? -No, bitch. Doctor House."
"Jackie Chan is in the new 'Star Wars' He's a Thai Fighter"
"What are Mario's overalls made of? **DENIM DENIM DENIM.**"
"""bowl of chips"" 9 out of 10 voices in my head are telling me that I am too fat. The last one is calmly preparing a bowl of chips."
"If someone brought me coffee right now I would follow them around like an imprinted baby bird forever."
"My Friend Has A Dyslexic Skin Condition My friend has a dyslexic skin condition. He wears his blood on his sleeve."
"Why don't mathematicians have degrees? They prefer radians."
"What do you call a waffle you drop in the desert? San Diego ^^San-dee-eygo ^^^^sandee-eygo ^^^^^sandy-eggo ^^^^^i'll ^^^^let^^^^myself^^^^out"