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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it be R... but a true pirate always favors the C."

"There are two types of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from an incomplete dataset, and"

"I'd prefer to read Yelp reviews from the kind of person who would never write a Yelp review."

"An Irishman walked out of a bar"

"Why were the 2 in love melons upset? Because they cantaloupe. (The wife thought of this one... hopefully nobody else has posted it)"

"If you take something for granted you risk losing it. When I finally find my car keys, I'm telling them how much I love them."

"Kind of morbid (sorry) (From my uncles) Him: Have you ever fucked a dog as long as you wanted? Me: NO! Him: Why'd you stop?"

"Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools? Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason."

"""Torture me"" said the masochist. ""No"" the sadist smiled."

"They say there's safety in numbers... Tell that to the 6 million Jews. ~ Jimmy Carr."