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Joke of the Day

"peanut Little Sally: Mommy, Mommy, Little Frankie showed me his penis on the playground! It reminded me of a peanut! Mommy (startled): Oh! Was it really small? Little Sally: No, it was salty!"

"My dad only says I love you on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, and competency hearings."

"If a tree falls down, and only a women hears it. What the fuck was a tree doing in the kitchen?"

"In the motorcycle safety course they tell you that target fixation is bad, where your eyes are looking is where you usually end up. Must be why I keep running over female joggers."

"What do you get when you cross Kate Upton with royalty? A bouncy castle."

"I just passed a beer truck on the highway. ""Wait a minute. I'm named after beer?!!?"" -My 6 yr old son, Miller"

"Thinking about starting an independent pharmacy called ""Netflix and Pills"". Quality patient care with 24/7 Netflix while you wait. Thoughts?"

"I once farted in the Apple Store and everybody got pissed It's not my fault they don't have Windows"

"Something weird just happened. My captain just told me Bravo Zulu for a job well done, and then abruptly fired me. How am I supposed to get an explosive tug with my dick in my pants?"

"I would tell a mexican joke.. I would tell a Mexican joke but that would be crossing the border.."