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Joke of the Day

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."

"What do you call a university full of fat girls studying neuroscience? A hippocampus."

"How to build a nested list 1) Start like this A) Then do this Bird: I live here now 2) Make sure to get the bird out Bird: NO"

"I had to put my dog down last night He's just too darn heavy to carry around anymore."

"Do you know where there are only 239 beans in and Irish bean stew? Because if there was one more, it'd be too farty."

"Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity."

"Why can't white Tumb1r girls divide or multiply by two? Because they can't even"

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just beat the room for being black"

"What language do British wrenches speech? Spanish!"

"God, grant me the serenity to accept this stolen property, the courage to sell it on eBay, and the wisdom to not get caught."