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Joke of the Day

"Does your dog like children? Yes, but he prefers dog food."

"My daughter got her dress caught in the escalator and I had to keep walking so people wouldn't think she was with me."

"What do you call an ""Asian"" that loves using moisturizer? Laotian."

"Did you see the awful story about a triple amputee dog the other day? Poor pup. They said he was on his last leg."

"What if God IS a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I'll never hear the end of it."

"No thanks, cosmetics lady. I'm years past 'bare & natural'. Save us both some time & show me the stuff you'd need to prep & refinish a wall."

"Do you want to hear the story on Sigmund Freud? NSFW It takes a while but it gets to the mother fucking point."

"I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex."

"I don't know the lyrics to any of Pitbull's songs, but in my defense, I'm not really convinced he does either."

"He fucked his dad When mom found out she wanted to join. She wanted to do some kinky things with urination ""Pee on our boy"" The son didn't want to Oedipus"