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Joke of the Day

"I don't know the lyrics to any of Pitbull's songs, but in my defense, I'm not really convinced he does either."

"What's the difference between a pitbull and a social worker? You might get your baby back off a pitbull."

"I can't remember a time in my life when an update for Acrobat Reader wasn't available."

"Axe body spray for black people They call it Ask body spray"

"Ted Cruz is complaining about ""liberal fascism,"" so I guess he's just stringing random unrelated words together, like ""potato doorknob."""

"Her: Come over, Joseph! Stalin: Can't, I'm sending people to gulag Her: My parents aren't at home Stalin: I know"

"If I had a dollar for every gender I would have 2 dollars"

"If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?"

"Lady came to front door & asked if I'd donate to new pool they're building for kids. I told her to hang on & came back with a glass of water"

"what do you call a liberal humanitarian with a broken toaster lack toast and tolerant"