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Joke of the Day

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please get out of the pool."""

"Plato walks into a bar. And he realises that the bar is not a real bar. In fact, it contains the concept of 'a bar'. Then, with an amazed face, he says: ""This bar is ideal!"""

"DONALD TRUMP (45 minutes into watching wall-e): this film is not what i hoped it would be"

"Im probably the best ever at being humble."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see the poof. Knock Knock? Who's there? The chicken."

"Bullshit this steak's rare. They have it at like every restaurant!"

"I was told I was addicted to cocaine, but I can assure you I am definitely not. I just love the way it smells."

"free toilet paper samples at sams club today. everyones wiping their slopped up holes in the middle of the aisle. its disgusting"

"#LanceArmstrong should keep his awards. Last time I tried to ride a bike when I was #stoned I ended up in a ditch."

"How does a tree access the internet? It logs on."