220506

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between your Mum and a sack of green apples? Your Mums a slut!"

"I just bought some land with a stranger and now we have a lot in common."

"I tried to use ""MyDick"" as my Netflix password... ...Netflix told me ""not long enough."""

"100 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. ... 100 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom!"

"Got kicked off the cruise ship after three day of constantly saying ""poop deck"" & snickering."

"My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She's now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don't negotiate with terrorists."

"M: I rear-ended some girl today W: Oh how much damage to her car M: Car?"

"I went out with one woman who turned out to be an arsonist. I met her on match.com"

"I'm in one of those moods that only a virgin sacrifice will appease."

"I heard that no real accountants were consulted during the filming of the new movie The Accountant. They want the movie to be entertaining."