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Joke of the Day

"Why did Simba's father die? Because he couldn't Mufasa."

"dishes laundry vacuuming dusting me *Things that won't get done today."

"Why Can't A Bike Stand On Its Own? It's two-tired!"

"Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan."

"What does an egg say when its ""turnt up""? Omlet!"

"Did you see the awful story about a triple amputee dog the other day? Poor pup. They said he was on his last leg."

"My girlfriend just got a job as a circumcision doctor The base pay isn't the best but boy does she get a lot of tips!"

"Why do optometrists enjoy nautical jokes? They have a good sense of aqueous humor."

"Dating tip: Don't do it, a disturbingly high percentage of people are actually flesh eating insects in human suits. Just stay home instead."

"Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise."