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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan."

"George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity Just like one of his characters. (If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)"

"This bottle of vodka was on sale. So yes, I will party like it's $19.99."

"I didn't want to walk in the woods. But i was forest"

"""Can someone call me a doctor?!"" You're a doctor. ""Please I'm losing my patience!"" You're a terrible doctor."

"2 cats smoke catnip and lay around, discussing Plato's Allegory of the Cave. ""What if the laser pointer is just a projection?"""

"Build a man a fire, and you'll keep him warm for a night. Light a man on fire, and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life."

"Two cannibals were eating a clown.... One turns to the other and asks, ""Hey, does this taste funny to you?"""

"How to Keep an Idiot in Suspense - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ... I'll tell you later."

"After I beat my dad in Go Fish, I like to shit in my underwear to celebrate. -My son, apparently"