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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan."

"Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store."

"Did you hear about the Football player that went to Prison? He went in as a tight end, but left a wide receiver."

"My wife went to the West Indies for her holidays. Jamaica? No, she wanted to go."

"You know how I deal with migraines? I store them in migranary."

"Why is it called Mother Nature? Because if it were called Father Nature it would be a lot more predictable."

"People ask me questions like I'm listening"

"My friend just told me this joke: ""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""Chicken"" ""Chicken who?"" ""TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!"""

"Why does Jesus like Japanese food? Because he loves miso"

"Van Gogh: ""Dude, I saw this hella vase of sunflowers today."" Gauguin: ""Pics, or it didn't happen."" [van gogh pulls out oil paints & easel]"