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Joke of the Day

"Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States? So there won't be a World War III."

"What do you call a urinating khalif. Wiz Khalifa"

"What's the difference between light and hard? Well, you can sleep with a light on..."

"Your Honor it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow! Was it a Jersey cow? I don't know I didn't see her license plate!"

"30 seconds left on the microwave. Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone. Men: do the space shuttle countdown."

"What do you call the worst Dr. who graduated from the worst med school? Dr."

"What's the difference between jews and scouts? The scouts come home from the camp."

"I wish I felt as much passion for something as my dogs feel towards the doorbell."

"If Kim Jong UN and Kim Kardashian got married and had a child what would they name it? Kim JordashUn?"

"Why did the black man cross the road? Because he saw the chicken cross the road and wanted to deep fry it."