220312

Joke of the Day

"Having sex in a mental hospital Now that's fucking insane."

"While people argue about the glass being half empty or half full...I'll just be drinking from the bottle !"

"Just saw a kid go down a slide looking at an iPhone. End of the world or multi-tasking?"

"Saw @justinbieber on a piece of toast. Am I going to hell?"

"I like it when I open a document and my monitor says WORD. And I'm like, YO."

"What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Obama? A CORNservative."

"I dreamt that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda... But I woke up and realized it was just a fanta sea."

"The worst part about grandma's Alzheimer's is watching her slowly forget about Dre"

"How do you blind fold an asian? You put floss over their eyes!"

"People are so wary of technology still. I grew up living directly under high power lines & only have 1 sentient mole that orders me to kill."