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Joke of the Day

"Having sex in a mental hospital Now that's fucking insane."

"mall santas make me mad becuase its like as if we need another reason to give jobs to old white men"

"I see wed people."

"If I start removing my earrings while maintaining eye contact, you're either in for the fuck of your life, or you'd better fucking run."

"What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!"

"My uncle performed circumcisions... He kept all the foreskin and had a tailor make it into a wallet. Rub it for 5 minutes and you get a briefcase."

"Which rock band has 4 people but doesn't make music? Mount Rushmore"

"Im using free internet because my neighbor did not protect his wifi via password."

"What did you have for breakfast? Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch? A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner? A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night? A: Pee soup..."

"My mum likes mixing drinks But I have no idea why she wanted me to put vodka in cider."