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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said that's a big word for a nine year old."

"""Hi can I just have a single burger?"" I'm sorry, all of our burgers are in a relationship ""But that's not eve- Please show some respect"

"You know you have a struggle of being a Vietnamese When your first name is Dat, last name is Ho and the teachers call the whole thing out"

"*Judge raises hammer* ""I SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE"" -*defendant chuckles* ""I'm already alive you MORON!"""

"Happy Independence Day!!! This is probably the last time I get to say that."

"Kim Jong Un has become so fat We now refer to him as Kim Jong Deux."

"What's a monster's favorite bean? A human bean. "

"My coworker and I have the same job title with the same number of years experience. He was pissed when he found out my salary was only a fraction his. Turns out that fraction is 2/1"

"Tonight's flirtation brought to you by the letter Booze. It's a word? Whatever, man. I don't know algebra and shit."

"What is a black's favorite letter? The one with the welfare check in it."