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Joke of the Day

"The 9 circles of hell: 9) limbo 8) lust 7) gluttony 6) greed 5) anger 4) heresy 3) violence 2) fraud 1) shopping on Black Friday"

"How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything? Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one? Me : Today's."

"I sent ten puns to an online contest... I was hoping at least one would win a prize but no pun in ten did."

"It's impossible to say ""mesh"" without sounding like Sean Connery... Also you just tried it."

"What do ghosts get arrested for? Possession."

"What's the difference between Pussy and Parsley? Nobody eats Parsley. (said at Christmas dinner by my 100 year old great Aunt)"

"What's the best insult you can tell someone?"

"Think about a nice pair of slacks. Now think about a panda. Now about radishes. Now about salt. I think you see where Im going with this."

"How does cheese get more mature? Fromage"

"Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? A: A mandate to govern."